Over

I'm over you
all the stuff we used to do
those days of secret games

It's over and you'll find
we're both out of my mind
no more slushy names

It didn't mean a thing
the special songs we used to sing
this silence is much better

just photos stored away
from a long gone, sunny day
the odd dreamy, perfumed letter

on being depressed

When I'm down,
I feel like a half drawn cartoon.
I'm here, and it may be fairly obvious who, or what I am
although
I'm some how incomplete
I'm here
in outline
but I'm not awfully solid
I'm empty,
lacking colour and background
there is no movement,
no life.
I am unanimated
When I am complete
I'll have resilience
and comic immortality,
drop an anvil on my head,
I'll re-inflate myself
run over me with a steam roller,
I'll peel my self from the road and carry on
but now
at this moment
I remain flat
on the page
two dimensional,
unreal,
incomplete
I need an artist who
with bold strokes
can make me whole
who will ink in
a rainbow existence
check continuity
plot my course
and script my life.

vampire

eternally bringing death
for life eternal
nightly sipping life
i cannot die
the wrath of timeless pain
my only shadow
the owls morose refrain
my only muse
I crave the grave
and sweet eternal sleep
driven by base needs
I want
and weep
and weep

masked ball

Your festival smile draws us in,
promising pleasure,
a party within
those sparkling eyes offering fun
a hint of mischief
you shine like the sun.
In your special party dress, cut to hug your figure
you dance until the dawn
you embody life and vigour.
Whirling on the dance floor,laughing as you leap
it's only when the ball is over
you allow yourself to weep

Grow up

Grow up, feel the pain
of labouring in vain

Hear the ticking of the clock
growing faster, keen to mock

See the leaves fall from the tree
wondering how long spring will be

Believe that you just can't win
with your spirit lost within

Chase deadlines until your dead
where once you chased dreams instead

Crush

Give no sign
not word or smile
our balance is precarious

don't go ahead
stay behind
wear masks of indifference

never reveal
forever concealed
Dream on

Feign coolness
but know

the heart beats still within

your beacon

far away
a light still shines
dulled by distance
a constant glow
guiding lost souls home
listen carefully
beneath the storm
two hearts beat
quietly but resolutely
marking time
waiting
just waiting

sweet temptress

My senses fill with promised delight
I tremble with anticipation
preparing to indulge

You cast your net wide
your silk so fine
waiting for the tempted

As I touch your web
my nerves alert, to late
held lightly

I face you, not bravely
trembling with fear
you anticipate your indulgence

and so I end
wrapped in your embrace
cocooned in silken thread
losing my head

Decide

Seeking all ways.
Always on the razor edge
perched precariously
should I jump before I fall?

Waiting.
Tense and fearful
weighing the odds
so still
weight finely balanced.
Freezing time.

Slowly slipping to one side
resigned to fate
let go, slowly
taking the breaks

more piracy

I wrote this for my biggest fan, my son Jack who says if he were my agent he would make me famous

I am a bold, bad pirate
my name is two patch Tim
Captain Hook just had one patch
so I'm twice as bad as him

I'm here to cause a menace
with all my pirate stuff
my hook, my sword, my wooden leg
and a voice that's very gruff

With my parrot on my shoulder
and my pistol in my hand
I'm going to be very bad at sea
and twice as bad on land

You'll know when I am coming
you'll hear all the softies shout
run away, quick, quick lets hide
two patch is about


I am sure I will add to this........

wanna be

(wrote this to read to a group of nursery children)

I tried to be a pirate
I've got all the pirate stuff
a patch to cover up one eye
a sword so I'll look tough
I made my hair a mess
made sure my face was hairy
but i couldn't see where i was going
and no-one thought that i was scary.

Now pirates usually have a parrot
and a big black pirate's hat
but I could only find my teddy bear
and no-one's ever scared of that.
I was going to get a great big ship
and sail away to sea
but I couldn't go too far away
because I must be back for tea.

Queueing

In the supermarket
Queueing
life on hold
time to ponder
thoughts tumble
2 for 1
searching for a special
planning a menus
for uncertain futures
building stranger's lives
from their groceries
waiting
queueing
until checkout

my blogging is indicative of my brain function

I blog in a wildly disorganized manner sometimes blogging a whole series of pieces and sometimes not blogging for a week - bit like the way i think really.

I have three blogs. This is not because I think a lot or do a lot. It is because i often try to externalize my weird and wonderful thoughts and, by putting them into different blogs bring some order to the chaos. It doesn't work, of course.

I sometimes think i should get rid odf a couple of blogs but I have never been able to throw anything away so at the end of the day i'm more likely to add another.

ouch!

a comment on a friends blog got to me because it concerned a subject close to my heart and one of which I have personal and professional experience.

It made me realise that i am becoming more in touch with my feelings because a few years ago It would've just gone straight on by on the basis that I believe that ignorance rarely whispers it's opinion.

i realise that the commenter might have unresolved issues but I felt that the comment was crass and unfeeling.

Ah well live and let live eh?

I'm growing up

I have always struggled with the green demon of jealousy and, in retrospect, I recognise the damage done to friendships and relationships.

I came to realise that friends are not something that I can put back n a box when I finish playing with them and that my friends do actually exist outside my experience. That friends are still friends even when they are not here.

So, I just want to say thank you to my friends for being my friend (God knows I don't deserve you) and thank you for my friend's friends for being there for our mutual friend. By embracing diverse friends we bring wealth and experience to each and every one of our friends.

time travel

there are times when I think about the past, perhaps even dwell there for a while. I consider events in my life and I wonder what would have happened if I had made a different decision, walked away,said yes\no, spoken my mind etc. I also see the lessons in what has happened and, hopefully am a wiser person because of that.
Now, if i can just put myself in the future and apply that retrospective to the decisions I make today...............

dying with style

There was an article on the radio yesterday about the troops currently stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan. The mother of one soldier said

'the whole family are so proud of him, he got a good degree so he was able to join a good regiment'

I wonder, is death more worthwhile or perhaps less painful if it happens to a soldier in a 'good' regiment?