(wrote this to read to a group of nursery children)
I tried to be a pirate
I've got all the pirate stuff
a patch to cover up one eye
a sword so I'll look tough
I made my hair a mess
made sure my face was hairy
but i couldn't see where i was going
and no-one thought that i was scary.
Now pirates usually have a parrot
and a big black pirate's hat
but I could only find my teddy bear
and no-one's ever scared of that.
I was going to get a great big ship
and sail away to sea
but I couldn't go too far away
because I must be back for tea.