Wednesday, 7 April 2010

the spirit of love

The pain stopped at 2:35pm.
Louise looked up and saw blue skies and once again felt the gentle warmth of the autumn sun on her face.
‘I’m not alone, I will never be alone’ she thought and, closing her eyes, she dozed contentedly.

When the messages had stopped she had assumed that it was a technical problem, that a circuit had blown or a protocol been corrupted. She had missed him but knew that he would sort it out.
She had reflected on their relationship, taking pleasure in the special times they had shared, listening to their music, remembering their love making.

They had met only 6 months earlier but it seemed as though they had always known each other. Together they had marvelled at the feelings they shared, their parallel experiences oneness of spirit and similar aspirations. They had laughed as they said and thought the same things or finished one another's sentences.
From almost the beginning they had agreed that they belonged together and had shared dreams of an idyllic future, of a time when there would be no need to suffer misunderstanding and no struggle to explain confused feelings or half formed ideas and dreams.
Both had realised that they were lucky, most people never find a perfect love and may never know what love truly is. Louise had felt so relieved to finally know that her search had ended, that the dark corners of her soul had been illuminated and that the key she had sought so long had been found and had unlocked a treasure chest of love and emotions.

After a week with no contact she started to ask around the various communities
'.......has any one heard from......'
'what's happened to...'
No-one knew, some said that they missed him too but they couldn't know how much he was truly missed.

Anger followed, he was like all the others, flirty and charming - until he got bored. He had used her, she had allowed herself to be used. She had failed, he had failed her.
She took to sitting, deep in thought, ignoring calls, forgetting to eat, lacking the strength to clean or work. Deep in self pity and suddenly seeing the evil and sadness which surrounded her.
And so she came to be sitting on an old bench near a tree, in the park. A bench she sad sat on quite suddenly although, had it not been there, she would've sat on the ground since her legs would not have supported her.
She had been walking through the park towards the lake having decided , in a flash of clarity, that she was to blame for his absence and that she was of no benefit to the world at large which would surely forget her before she had even disappeared beneath the surface.
As she passed the tree she had heard a noise and had looked up, there was nothing there. The slight movement of the branches had awoken more painful memories. They had both loved nature and had planned, one day, to live far away from the city, surrounded by their beloved trees and lakes.
Louise had sobbed and her whole body had begun to shake as she cried out in anguish and frustration

'I loved you so much, you were my life, my reason. I will not live without you'

'I love you still' he replied 'we are one in soul and in spirit, live now for both of us my dear, sweet Louise'

she felt him enter her as the last barrier of doubt dissolved.

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