more piracy

I wrote this for my biggest fan, my son Jack who says if he were my agent he would make me famous

I am a bold, bad pirate
my name is two patch Tim
Captain Hook just had one patch
so I'm twice as bad as him

I'm here to cause a menace
with all my pirate stuff
my hook, my sword, my wooden leg
and a voice that's very gruff

With my parrot on my shoulder
and my pistol in my hand
I'm going to be very bad at sea
and twice as bad on land

You'll know when I am coming
you'll hear all the softies shout
run away, quick, quick lets hide
two patch is about


I am sure I will add to this........

wanna be

(wrote this to read to a group of nursery children)

I tried to be a pirate
I've got all the pirate stuff
a patch to cover up one eye
a sword so I'll look tough
I made my hair a mess
made sure my face was hairy
but i couldn't see where i was going
and no-one thought that i was scary.

Now pirates usually have a parrot
and a big black pirate's hat
but I could only find my teddy bear
and no-one's ever scared of that.
I was going to get a great big ship
and sail away to sea
but I couldn't go too far away
because I must be back for tea.