my blogging is indicative of my brain function

I blog in a wildly disorganized manner sometimes blogging a whole series of pieces and sometimes not blogging for a week - bit like the way i think really.

I have three blogs. This is not because I think a lot or do a lot. It is because i often try to externalize my weird and wonderful thoughts and, by putting them into different blogs bring some order to the chaos. It doesn't work, of course.

I sometimes think i should get rid odf a couple of blogs but I have never been able to throw anything away so at the end of the day i'm more likely to add another.

ouch!

a comment on a friends blog got to me because it concerned a subject close to my heart and one of which I have personal and professional experience.

It made me realise that i am becoming more in touch with my feelings because a few years ago It would've just gone straight on by on the basis that I believe that ignorance rarely whispers it's opinion.

i realise that the commenter might have unresolved issues but I felt that the comment was crass and unfeeling.

Ah well live and let live eh?

I'm growing up

I have always struggled with the green demon of jealousy and, in retrospect, I recognise the damage done to friendships and relationships.

I came to realise that friends are not something that I can put back n a box when I finish playing with them and that my friends do actually exist outside my experience. That friends are still friends even when they are not here.

So, I just want to say thank you to my friends for being my friend (God knows I don't deserve you) and thank you for my friend's friends for being there for our mutual friend. By embracing diverse friends we bring wealth and experience to each and every one of our friends.

time travel

there are times when I think about the past, perhaps even dwell there for a while. I consider events in my life and I wonder what would have happened if I had made a different decision, walked away,said yes\no, spoken my mind etc. I also see the lessons in what has happened and, hopefully am a wiser person because of that.
Now, if i can just put myself in the future and apply that retrospective to the decisions I make today...............

dying with style

There was an article on the radio yesterday about the troops currently stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan. The mother of one soldier said

'the whole family are so proud of him, he got a good degree so he was able to join a good regiment'

I wonder, is death more worthwhile or perhaps less painful if it happens to a soldier in a 'good' regiment?

Christmas thought

Just a thought from the church of the terminally bemused

male and female

There was an interesting item on the radio the other day.

Apparently there is mounting evidence that the French are right to assign a gender to all items.

A train is definitely male as it never comes when it should and always uses the same lines to pick people up.

A remote control is female as It gives men hours of pleasure even though they don't really understand how it works and he can happily press the wrong buttons for hours.

Directions

do you ever encounter a place or a person and find it gets you thinking about how things might have been.

I am a big user of the what if line of thought, it's a weakness of mine.

Last week i spent a lot of time in another part of the country and I thought a lot about someone who i always associate with that area wondering how life might have been different if we had met earlier.

Such thinking is not good as it doesn't change what is but in a way I enjoy, just for a short while, 'living' that alternative life.

Seeking real

sometimes I'm not sure who (or what) I am.
I find my self wondering whether the smile I bestow is genuine or whether I'm using it to my advantage.
I can't decide whether I am a father, a husband, a lover, a friend or a recluse. I guess i am all of there things but there are times when I know I'm acting and I wonder where real has gone.

alone

when I'm alone I realise how much i need to survive and who I am surviving for

support your local church

take some time to give the church your vote of confidence, if it wins the prize will be donated to cancer research

do it now!

http://bloginterviewer.com/religion/the-church-of-the-terminally-bemused-tim-toadee-marshall

Contentment

I am finding contentment in simple things and At the moment I feel that this life is bearable

Books

I wonder if I would be happier without books, that's a strange thing to say, I know. Books have given me so much joy but they have also made me aware of what I don't have and impatient to have more.

waiting

far away
a light still shines
dulled by distance
a constant glow
guiding lost souls home
listen carefully
beneath the storm
two hearts beat
quietly but resolutely
marking time
waiting
just waiting

errrrrrrrrr,

I often wish that I could think of something earth shatteringly wonderful but when i do I usually forget it before I can write it down.

Friends

you know you are with a true friend when you meet up after ages apart and it's like you have never been away.

love

I have been thinking a lot about love and commitment lately. If only they were the same thing.

past present and future

I got very down in my cups today thinking about missed opportunities and wishing my life had taken a different direction.

I gave my self a boot up the bum because I have to live today and carry on hoping for tomorrow, yes my past could have been different but there is nothing I can do about that, I can however work towards a better future and at least I am now clear about what I want in that future.

And once again I reminded my self to feed the good wolf.

internet

A friend on line spoke yesterday about there being life outside the internet and I agreed with her.
I have been thinking about this and, yes there is definitely life away from the internet and I am determined to experience it but I have to say
My favourite activities are internet based
My relaxation is internet based
all my friends are on the internet
I would never have met the only person I trust 100% if it wasn't for the internet.

blogging for fun and profit

I wonder if it's possible to write a commercially viable blog if you if you don't believe in yourself